What I have learnt today….

To just clear out any misconception, it’s not about a new art or any new object, but it’s about myself. It’s said you learn each moment, with your own deeds, with your each experience, may be so, I didn’t realized it that much earlier, but today yes I have learnt something.
The day really started on normal note, a cool morning, rising sun, my daily routine and my way to college. During the first lecture, as usual water supply started with my water bottle being passed in the whole class (this is my trade mark, I’m mostly the only one carrying a water bottle be it my degree college or management college). Well that’s not the issue, the issue was a guy just bowled it in air (IPL winds blowing in class well) for another one to catch it, and bang, the catch was missed, and I simply lost my cool. He was scolded by the lecturer and yes even I reciprocated, for the reason

• I hate indecency in class
• And it was my thing, which he just threw off

I’m pretty sure most of them must have thought, it was silly on my part to react to a small issue of a water bottle, but I know I was right, as for me the issue was not the bottle, the issue would have been the same, if even it was a pen or a notebook, or it belonged to someone else. The issue was to have an aesthetic sense, to have feeling of responsibility and respect for a thing which was not yours, however big or small that be, which that guy just lacked, and icing was that he didn’t accepted his mistake, which just decreased my boiling point.
But as it’s said holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned, the same thing happened with me, I spoiled my seminar because of him. My mistake, I accept.
Whatever it was, I just wrote it, and even I thought I’m taking this thing way too seriously but I don’t why I’m not able to forget this, though it being small. I have realized that

1. For me even small things matter.
2. I care for my possessions a lot and I expect that people also do the same, even though they don’t do for their ones, but they need to do for mine.
3. For me committing a mistake won’t be highlighted, what would be is not accepting it. And accepting + apologizing it is surely appreciated.
4. I can speak on my behalf (my friends always complain that you don’t stand for yourself, but now this small incident has provoked me to do for bigger issues of my life) :)
   
5. I hate and can’t tolerate nuisance.
6. I’m not that calm and composed, which I and many people use to feel earlier:)
7. I get upset easily.
8. And now I need to improvise on it, as it hampers my performance in other tasks.

Now I’m just trying to forget things, which I had been trying since the whole day, but can’t, but penning it down has helped me out to some extent. Moreover I really recognized things which I have but has come to my notice today…

Pain

Be positive in each and every aspect of life. Such an easy line to say isn’t it. But what happens when you are tested and trialed with each passing moment. You are nailed again and again, deeper with each new trial, for your patience and let that salty water flow and burn those wounds, hurting for you being so helpless, so not worthy. How can one imagine of being positive at that moment?
You are bound to lose the positivity torch in that windy darkness and then you feel like gathering all your courage and speak up, “Enough is enough, why am I bearing all this, stop it, and stop behaving with me like this.” And the end what answer do you get in return, “ok I’m the bad one, each mistake is mine only.” Seriously, it is the easiest way of not accepting your mistake and just be out of the conversation without resolving the problem.

Note:
I feel this is my first core negative post, but I have learned this from my friend (rinki pinks its u) that even negativity is part of your life it's an expression so better express it.
The writeup was written when i was feeling very low and at that moment such thoughts came to my mind.
But after taking it out over a paper, i really felt better and very optimistic.....